Hokage Swap
by Lucillia
Summary: Thanks to a seal gone wrong, Senju Hashirama and company have ended up in the age of Rokudaime Hokage Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, and Naruto has ended up at the beginning of the Shodai Hokage's reign.
1. Chapter 1

Madara glared at the newly elected Shodai Hokage across the gleaming wood of the brand new desk that was located in the recently completed office which was located in the newly built administration tower/Hokage residence. His younger brother Izuna stood to his left, and Izuna's guide stood next to him. Izuna was only just beginning to get used to being blind, and while he could still fight with the best of them, he needed just a little help with more mundane matters such as finding doors and trees without running into them. As he opened his mouth to speak, Izuna's guide suddenly gasped. He turned to see the young man who was just out of his teens staring at the window in open-mouthed shock.

When he turned to the window, all he could see were a pair of men in animal masks holding a silent conversation. Their body language practically screamed "What the fuck are we supposed to do?". One of the men eventually pulled out a book of some sort and started rapidly leafing through it. Eventually, he found what he was looking for, because he showed it to his companion who turned away from the window and started frantically signalling someone who was apparently elsewhere. A moment later, a third person in an animal mask appeared, shrugged, shook his head, and caused a pair of shutters to grow over the window, which he promptly closed.

A quick look at his least favorite Senju confirmed that the newly elected Hokage had even less of an idea than he did as to what was going on, and wasn't too happy about that fact.

As he and the Senju stood there individually trying to figure out exactly what to do in this situation, the door to the office slammed open. He and his companions whirled as one to face the new threat.

"Naruto!" A slightly frantic looking brown haired man with a scar across his nose who appeared to be in his late twenties to early thirties and was wearing one of the uniforms that the Hokage had recently drawn up sketches for yelled as he dodged a number of kunai. "Are you okay? Your clones at the Academy just dispelled."

The man registered the fact that "Naruto" wasn't present a moment after he'd dodged Izuna's slightly off throw. Izuna was rapidly improving, last week, the kunai he had tossed would have been embedded in the wall a couple feet away from the door.

"Huh? Well this is new." the man muttered as he held up his hands to show that he wasn't armed and wasn't planning on attacking before turning and yelling "Konohamaru! Naruto's messed up another seal!" over his shoulder.

There was a loud groan and some grumbling from the room beyond in response to this statement. A moment later, a young man with a white coat that had been hastily thrown on over a uniform that was nearly identical to the scarred man's walked in carrying a facimile of the damnable Senju's new hat. The man stalked over to the Hokage's desk without looking up, sat down in the Senju's hand carved one-of-a-kind chair with perfect ergonomic back support and propped his feet up on the desk.

"Hello, I'm Sarutobi Konohamaru, acting Hokage of the village of Konoha in which you are currently located until the current Hokage Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto returns. If you'll kindly turn over your...Holy Shit!" the young man said, having started off on what sounded like a rehearsed speech until he finally looked up and realized exactly who was in the room with him.

Senju Hashirama looked torn between being pissed and amazed for some reason as he looked down at the brown haired young man who - now that Madara thought about it - bore something of a slight resemblance to Sarutobi Sasuke that had taken his seat. It possibly had something to do with the fact that the young man had the balls to claim both the Senju's position and the chair that he wouldn't even let his brother so much as breathe on. The rather shocked looking young man did not remain seated for long however, as he fell out of the chair and lay sprawled on the floor for a second before getting up and running for the door.

"Call for the psych team!" the young man yelled out into the anteroom beyond the office. "Naruto brought Sasuke and Madara back from the Dead!"

Madara turned to his brother who had an expression on his face that was undoubtedly identical to his own, an expression that said "What the fuck is going on, and who the hell is Sasuke?"

&!&!&

Senju Tobirama and some random Uchiha who had gone along with Madara and his brother as backup stood out in the corridor waiting for Madara to finish lodging his latest complaint when there was a bright flash from under the closed door. Upon inspection using the Uchiha's Chakra Sensing abilities it was determined that the men inside the room seemed to have vanished and been replaced by one very powerful person. Tobirama and his Uchiha companion raced into the office, fearing what they would find.

Instead of finding a fearsome opponent standing over the dead bodies of the leaders of the Senju and the Uchiha clans, they found that the office had mysteriously been redecorated some time within the last half hour and that its occupants had been replaced by a trio of identical looking men. Rather than the muted tones Tobirama's brother preferred, the office was now painted in a rather bright and cheerful shade of orange, and there were photographs just about everywhere, covering the walls and the parts of the stately old desk that was positioned near the window that weren't covered in paperwork. The three men - two of whom were dressed in identical orange and black coats, with a third matching coat that had the kanji for Sixth Hokage stitched on the back in orange casually thrown to the side near the third man - were absorbed in separate activities, one was tending to the paperwork on the desk, one was writing something on an important looking scroll in a rather sloppy and somewhat childish hand, and the third was poking at a seal that had been painted on the office's hardwood floor and muttering.

"What do you want?" the man with the paperwork asked, not looking up from the document he was perusing "If this is another assassination attempt, I'm going to be having serious words with the guards. Repainting the walls and replacing the rug is costing money we can't afford to be spending right now, considering the fact that the Academy is underfunded."

This, and the authoritative tone that was very similar to that of Hashirama on a bad day brought the Senju and the Uchiha up short. Had what happened been a straightforward attack, they would have immediately known what to do. This however...This had to be some sort of weird Genjutsu, but who would cast it and why?

"Kai!" both men yelled simultaneously as they disrupted their Chakra in an attempt to dispel the Genjutsu and save their respective clansmen. The room remained the same. However, they seemed to have gotten the attention of the man who had been working on the scroll. The man turned to look at them in irritation. His irritation turned to shock a second later. The man then got up and raced over to the window. Whatever he saw outside seemed to further surprise him.

"Boss!" the man called over to the man who was examining the seal.

"Boss!" the man called again - louder this time - upon being ignored.

"Boss!" the man yelled.

The man by the seal continued to ignore the man by the window. The man by the window, sighed, pulled out a kunai, and stabbed himself in the stomach. Instead of falling over and bleeding to death, the man vanished in a cloud of smoke. The head of the man by the seal jerked up sharply, and he whirled around to face the two men.

"Where's my brother?" Tobirama yelled at the man as the Uchiha yelled "Where are Madara-Sama and Izuna-Sama?"

The man blinked at them before doing some rapid calculations.

"About eighty years or so into the future." the man said looking slightly sheepish. "Sorry."

"Eighty..." Tobirama said, feeling as if he were about to fall over. If this was real...

"Don't worry." the man said in a placating tone "We'll get them back just as soon as I figure out what went wrong this time."

&!&!&!&

**Author's Note: **I've had this on my computer for a while, and now I finally know what to do with it. Yes, I know about the changes in Canon and have learned the approximate timing of Izuna's death since I wrote it, I'll be disregarding them for this story and for the sake of humor.


	2. Chapter 2

"Why do you keep looking at the Uchiha like that?" Senju Tobirama asked the blond man after a while.

They'd been in the office which should have belonged to his brother but belonged to the blond man instead for about an hour, discussing what had happened to his brother and the three Uchiha who had been in the room until the Uzimaki-Namikaze's little sealing error. Over that hour, the man who was supposedly the Rokudaime Hokage had been sneaking peeks at the Uchiha that had been with him when he thought that the other man wouldn't notice.

"Um, well, I haven't seen a Uchiha besides Sasuke, Itachi, and Madara since I was a little kid." the blond replied.

"Why not?" the Uchiha asked.

"Long story short, Madara went completely crackers." the blond replied.

"Crackers?" Tobirama asked, already dreading the answer.

"Let's just say that during the final years of his life, he declared war on everybody because we interfered with his plans to steal all of the Biju so he could rule the world by turning the moon into a giant eye." was the blond's response.

The Uchiha made a strange choking sound at this. He however started laughing his ass off because he'd recognized exactly where that plan had come from. The 56 hour truce which had been the result of some idiot hiring both the Senju _and _the Uchiha for a job had probably been one of the wackiest experiences in his life prior to the founding of Konoha.

But still, declaring war on everybody so he could go through with that cracked idea?

"It was because of him that all of the other countries on the continent unanimously voted to put Konoha into a 72 hour psych hold after he died. For three days, there was a veritable army of psychiatrists wandering the streets tallying up the number of people who obviously needed counseling before they became a risk to everyone at large. Fortunately for my prospects for becoming Hokage, I was declared "Amazingly well adjusted, considering the circumstances"." the blond continued.

"Fortunately, we were rebuilding again, so we didn't have to tear down too many buildings in order to rearrange Konoha's layout when they left." the blond concluded.

"So, the Uchiha were killed when they followed Madara after he declared war on everybody?" the Uchiha asked.

"Nah. What happened to the Uchiha was that they kicked Madara out over the whole his not wanting peace while they were sick and tired of war issue, and the whole taking his brother's eyes thing. Decades later, Madara came back and set the Kyuubi loose on Konoha. Since everyone thought that Madara was dead, they suspected that the Uchiha clan was responsible and started shunning them and whatnot. The Uchiha decided to stage a coup because they were feeling under-appreciated because of this." the blond replied.

"So, the Uchiha were killed when the coup failed?" the Uchiha asked.

"Nah, it didn't even get off the ground. One of the Hokage's advisors who was in charge of ANBU at the time ordered Uchiha Itachi who was a 13 year old ANBU Captain at the time to kill the clan. Madara joined in on the slaughter because he wanted revenge on the Uchiha for kicking him out. Itachi ensured his little brother Sasuke's survival as the price of his cooperation." the blond continued.

"Oh." the Uchiha said, looking poleaxed.

"If it helps, Itachi was like a supergenius and Madara did most of the killing, so the end of the Uchiha clan wasn't totally lame." the blond said in a totally misguided attempt at comforting the man.

"It doesn't help." the Uchiha replied.

As far as Tobirama was concerned, it didn't help either. The thought of the Uchiha clan getting wiped out by a thirteen year old kid had been hilarious. Not that he'd tell his new ally. He couldn't wait for the boy to get Hash back so he could tell him if he hadn't found out already by the time he returned.

&!&!&!&

Uchiha Izuna lay on the hospital bed feeling thoroughly violated. Two hours earlier, he, his brother, the guy who was supposed to keep him from running into things, and the new Hokage had been captured as easily as if they were small children, rather than three of the four most powerful men in the village and some average slob, and dragged to a place that he'd been told was a hospital.

From practically the first second after he arrived, he had been poked and prodded every which way, and had been forced to undergo several tests before he'd been left with this "psychiatrist" whom he had only just convinced he wasn't this person called Sasuke whom everybody seemed to think he was.

"...And how did you feel when your brother took your eyes?" the man asked as he made notes on a piece of paper.

Oh gods, he was so not going into that again. He'd only just gotten over it and forgiven Madara, since his brother hadn't been in his right mind at the time of the "incident".

&!&!&!&

"Either your arm or your butt Hokage-Sama, your choice." a pink haired woman said as she raised a syringe threateningly. "However, if you keep trying to escape, I will be forced to restrain you."

Senju Hashirama however wasn't listening as he was far too busy trying to dive through what seemed to be an open window, except for the fact that something invisible was blocking his way. After two tries, he gave that up as a lost cause and tried to get around the pink haired medic who was trying to immunize him against everything from Rabies to Small Pox.

Apparently the pink haired medic had somehow gotten her hands on his medical history which had been in the village archives for some reason, and had discovered that he hadn't had a number of "necessary" vaccinations by this point in his life. The fact that many of said vaccinations hadn't been created yet hadn't mattered to her. All that mattered to her was making sure his chart was up to date for what she considered to be the modern era, which meant giving him about a million shots that he should have had by the time he was thirty.

The thing was, the man who had faced down rampaging Biju and entire armies was afraid of needles.

"Founding this village was a bad idea!" Hashirama yelled after the woman grabbed him, slammed him down onto the examination table, and activated a seal that immobilized him.

"You said it!" Madara rejoined from across the hall where he was being seen to by a proctologist.


	3. Chapter 3

Uchiha Ikkaku staggered into his home at three in the morning, stone drunk. Today had been one of those days he'd wanted to delete from his memory, like the day he'd broken his leg during the infamous pie fight with the Cooking-nins of Lightning Country which had not been a grand day for the Uchiha clan as a whole. The 56 Hour Truce was something else he wanted to forget as well.

"And where have you been?" Ikkaku's wife who had been waiting up for him asked, standing in the entryway of their new home which had incidentally been built by Senju Hashirama and had been the reason he'd voted for the man when they were choosing the Hokage, a vote he now no-longer felt guilty about. The expression on his wife's face and the way she was standing - blocking his path with her arms crossed and her hands twitching as if they were itching to hold a weapon - meant that there would be trouble, but at the moment he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Out getting completely plastered." he replied.

His wife blinked in surprise at this, probably because he usually lied about where he'd been, fueling her suspicions that he'd been cheating on her which wasn't the case since he was too afraid of what her father and her brothers would do to him if he really did cheat. His wife had been the baby of the family and the only girl in a family of eight children, making her all the more precious in their eyes.

"What?" his wife said, completely thrown since he wasn't following the usual script.

"There's a today where I want a blank spot to be." he replied as he debated the merits of taking a nap in the entry hall rather than getting past his wife to get to their futon.

"What?" his wife asked, her anger completely replaced by confusion.

"The Rokudaime Hokage came here by accident. Madara's going to go completely bonkers in the future and kill everybody." he said as he wondered if it would be worth what would come later if he pushed past his wife who was standing there with her mouth open and went to bed.

"Where is Madara by the way?" his wife asked when she'd finally gathered her wits. "Someone wanted to ask him something but couldn't find him."

"That was part of the accident. Madara and the Hokage are in the future where Madara killed everybody. The Hokage's office got switched with the Rokudaime's." he replied.

"If he killed everybody, how is there a Hokage?" his wife asked.

"By everybody, I meant that he killed all of the Uchiha. There was this coup see...No, wait. First, we kicked Madara out of the clan because he stole Izuna's eyes and blamed Hashirama, then there was a coup." he said as he tried to get the story straight in his sake addled mind.

"Whatever, just go to bed." his wife sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'll ask you about it in the morning."

&!&!&!&!&

Tobirama smiled as he crawled into his bed, as drunk as Ikkaku, but for a completely different reason. Today had been a great day. There was a future where the Uchiha clan was gone, and best of all, they did it to themselves. Not only that, but Hashirama wouldn't be lording the fact that he was Hokage over him and telling him how awesome being Hokage was until he got back from where the Uzumaki had sent him. Even better, he got to sit in The Chair! Sure, it was eighty years older and had seen several other asses including that of his future self, but it was The Chair.

He knew for a fact that Uzumaki-Namikaze wasn't lying about being Hokage, as the other man could recite the "Tips For Hokages" scroll that he and his brother had written when they had gotten completely plastered after Hashirama's investiture ceremony from memory, a scroll that could only be opened or read or recited by a Hokage, the contents of which only he and Hashirama currently knew.

Yes, today had been a good day, and he'd enjoy the buzz he got from the alcohol and the things he'd learned for as long as he had it.

&!&!&!&

Uzumaki Mito sighed as she sipped her cold tea, unable to sleep while she worried about her fiancee. Hopefully he'd be alright in a future where he was considered a hero, but people had a tendency to bring heroes down for the bragging rights of having done so. Earlier that evening, or rather the evening prior, Tobirama and a blond who had an Uzumaki bone structure had come by to inform her of exactly where her future husband had gone.

The blond Uzumaki had looked like he wanted to talk about something, but before he could ask the question that was on his mind, he muttered "Oh, right, that hasn't happened yet."

Whatever it was that the Uzumaki had wanted to talk about gave her a bad feeling. It possibly had something to do with the ill omen she had noticed when the man opened his mouth to ask his question before he changed his mind.

&!&!&!&

Naruto growled as he failed for the seventeenth time to figure out exactly what the hell had gone wrong with his seal _this _time. This time wasn't nearly as bad as the last time, when he'd gotten arrested for attacking that guy in that foam lizard costume when a mistake of his had flung him into another universe had been. At least the society he was in was completely recognizable if somewhat archaic, and he was able to understand the local language. He didn't belong though, and the same went for the Shodai Hokage and Madara who were wandering around in his era.

Even with the help of as many Shadow Clones as he could fit into his office, tonight was going to be a very long night.

&!&!&!&

"My butt hurts." Hashirama groaned as he tried to get comfortable in his hospital bed where he was being kept overnight for observation. This task was made more difficult by the fact that his backside was still sore from all of the vaccinations he'd been given.

"So does mine, but you don't hear me complaining about it!" Uchiha Madara chimed in from the next bed over.

Clenching his teeth so he wouldn't start yet another completely pointless argument, Hashirama wished once more that he'd been given his own room. It wasn't the just the fact that Madara was there. Izuna snored.


	4. Chapter 4

Hashirama groaned as he pulled the pillow off of his head around the time he had started wishing to smother himself with it. As the sun was rising, something miraculous happened. Izuna had stopped snoring. Smiling at the blessed silence, he rolled over in order to go to sleep.

That was not to be however. Less than two minutes after he'd closed his eyes, a darkly grumbling Sarutobi Konohamaru entered the room and shook him awake.

"What?!" he snapped.

"Thanks to Naruto's disappearance, I have to go to the Kage summit in Kumo." the Sarutobi muttered.

"What's that got to do with me?" he asked.

"Well, there needs to be a Hokage here to deal with any problems that might crop up as well as the day to day stuff, and with Me and Naruto gone, you're the only Hokage in the village since you're Hokage for life and all that." Konohamaru replied.

"So, despite how I was treated by your people, you want me to get up out of my nice warm bed and do your work for you?" he grumbled as that damnable sense of duty that had propelled him to he head of his clan following the death of his father and step-mother in spite of his own desires reared its ugly head.

"They're your people too!" the Sarutobi exclaimed. "Well, the descendants of your people, but you get the idea."

"Fine, I'll do it!" he snapped as he crawled out of the hospital bed he'd been placed in, and in which he had gotten absolutely no sleep thanks to his roommates.

Muttering darkly about the people in the place he'd found himself in and about the Uchiha whom he'd yet to see wandering around the village out of principle, he made his way to the Hokage's office as soon as he was dressed for the day, having taken his clothing from the laundry and checked out of the hospital in the usual manner for ninja. When he reached the office, he stopped, backed out, double checked that it was indeed the Hokage's office and not the Tax Department, went back in, and stared at the desk for a full minute.

"When I get home, I am so killing that brat's grandfather." he said after the fifth "Kai" had failed to dispel what was before him.

Apparently, someone had decided to chop down a forest, convert it into paperwork, and set it all on the Hokage's desk for the Hokage to fill out at his leisure.

No wonder that Konohamaru brat had been so eager to skive off to that "Summit"...

&!&!&!&

Madara, who was used to Izuna's snoring, had managed to sleep rather peacefully after he'd found a relatively comfortable position, and had managed to get a rather nice lie-in as well since there were no members of his clan coming to him and demanding advice. Sure, less and less people had been coming to him for such since he'd taken Izuna's eyes, but that hadn't stopped every Fugaku, Obito and Tekka from dropping by and demanding a chunk of his time whenever the heck they felt like it morning, noon, or night.

Had he known that heading the Uchina clan would have left him seriously sleep deprived...Heck, who was he kidding? He would've taken the position anyways. It had been his dream ever since he had been a small child after-all. People had gotten sick of hearing how he'd be Clan Head years before he'd finally attained that goal.

Yawning and stretching, Madara decided that sleeping in until eight - while rather decadent - was more than enough and decided to get out and explore the village he'd helped found. He'd had the distinct impression that there had been something that everyone he'd encountered so far had been hiding from him, and he had every intention of finding out what that was.

After wandering through a number of streets that were oddly free of Uchiha and being stared at and whispered about by more people than he could count and being propositioned five times in the marketplace, he left the downtown area of the bowl-shaped crater the town had apparently been rebuilt into after some cataclysmic disaster and headed to quieter climes. After wandering through one or two parks that had obviously been designed by the Senju, he rounded a corner and saw his clan's symbol for the first time that day emblazoned on the side of a building.

As he looked up at what was apparently the headquarters of the "Konoha Military Police Force", a rather harried looking man hurried out to him.

"You're late!" the man said. "It's bad enough I get it from the guy who's supposed to be playing Obito, I don't need it from you as well. Hiro breaking his leg was the last thing we needed, especially with our Mikoto out on maternity leave."

"What is it you think I'm supposed to be doing?" he asked the man who was critically eyeing him.

"Your job!" the man exclaimed as he handed him a sheaf of papers.

"The costume's fine for now. Just follow the script and don't try to answer questions you don't know the answer to. Hiro's last substitute was an absolute disaster, what with his frequent ad-libbing and the bizarre ideas he'd put into those poor children's heads. We're lucky the Academy decided to give us a second chance. If they hadn't, the village would have pulled our funding, and then where would we be? Out of a job, that's where!" the harried looking man said as he hustled him inside the building.

As he stood in what was apparently the bullpen of the police station, he read the script he'd been handed. Apparently, he was to tell the story of his exploits, even stuff he hadn't done yet. According to this, Izuna was going to die soon and he was going to...

**"I WHAT?!"**

&!&!&!&!&

While Madara was trying to convince himself that his trip to the future was a hallucination that had been fueled by the mushrooms that he'd foraged for in the forest the day before, gossip was spreading through the Uchiha Clan like wildfire. Like all gossip that is only half understood and been passed through several parties as if in a game of Telephone, this gossip became more and more distorted the further it spread.

"Did you hear?" one of the Uchiha housewives who had been a ninja who'd lived out of a tent up until a couple years before and was only just getting the hang of that whole "homemaker" thing said to another in the marketplace.

"What?" the other "housewife" asked, hoping that the gossip would be juicier than the pathetic thing that was masquerading as steak that was on sale.

"Apparently, the Rokudaime Hokage came back in time to rescue our clan." the first said as she examined the vegetables in a nearby stall with a mind to buy some lettuce.

"Rescue us, why?" the second asked as she examined the tomatoes.

"Madara's going to go insane and eat Izuna before he slaughters the entire clan because we wouldn't build him a rocket so he can start a moon colony." the first said as she poked at the wilted thing that the stallkeeper had been trying to pass off as lettuce.


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you doing?" Uchiha Setsuna asked his younger cousin who was carrying a bunch of Physics textbooks.

"I'm getting a start on the rocket." his cousin replied.

"What rocket?" Setsuna asked.

"Didn't you hear? Madara-sama ordered us to build a Moon rocket, and will kill us if we don't." his cousin said, as he cracked open a book that hadn't been touched in ages since the Uchiha generally had no need for Physics. Most people didn't, but since it was knowledge from before the cataclysm and the near endless wars that had followed, it had been faithfully copied and handed down through the centuries.

"But why does he want a Moon rocket?" Setsuna asked.

"I don't know, he probably hit his head again. You remember what happened the last time, after he fell off that cliff?" his cousin replied.

"Yeah, he was convinced that he was old childhood friends with the Hokage and that Tobirama had killed Izuna. It took him three days to realize that none of that had happened and that Izuna was alive and that what he was seeing wandering about his house wasn't a hallucination." Setsuna said, shuddering at the memory which seemed far more sinister now that he'd started hearing strange rumors around the village.

"So, if he sees that we've at least gotten started on his Moon rocket..." his cousin said, pointing to the Physics books.

"Good idea." he said, snatching up a book which had one of the few existing images of the ancient space rockets that no longer flew on the cover.

* * *

><p>Uchiha Reiji groaned in exhaustion as he settled himself outside the hospital room where it looked like his charge Izuna was once again going to sleep til lunchtime in a fit of depression. that had been the third time a nurse had asked him for a semen sample, and rather than following the interesting fantasies that came unbidden because each of the nurses were attractive, each encounter ended with him being led to a small room and handed a cup.<p>

Either someone had forgotten to note on his chart that he'd already given a sample, or...

Holy crap! They were using him to make a passel of Uchiha babies. Madara was not going to like this.

As he stood there desperately trying to figure out how to explain what happened without him getting killed by Madara, the snores stopped and there was some shuffling in the room as Izuna got out of bed. That was his cue to make sure that Izuna didn't fall over in this unfamiliar environment, though that was happening less and less these days as Izuna adapted to his blindness. The early blindfolded combat training that all Uchiha went through as children likely helped with this.

After handing Izuna his clothes and waiting for the other man to dress himself since he wouldn't let him help him do it, he led him to the door, down the hall and out of the building, waving at the receptionist at the front desk as they left.

"Is there anything to eat around here?" Izuna asked.

He winced. He didn't have any money on him, and since they'd just checked out of the hospital, there was no hope of snagging lunch there. He wasn't in the mood to do work in order to get someone else's food today, but it was looking like that was what he would have to do because Madara would kill him if he let Izuna go hungry.

Wandering through the streets of what had started out as a village and then became a small city over the generations since its founding, he tried to find a way out of his predicament. As he was passing a ramen stand, he saw a small sign. Apparently, if you broke the current record for most bowls eaten in one sitting, your meal would be free.

Figuring that there might be a catch somewhere, especially as the person ahead of him had snickered upon spotting the sign, he approached the stand.

"So, what's the record?" he asked, gesturing towards the sign when the owner of the stand greeted him.

"Three-hundred and twelve." the proprietor said with a smile.

"Three-hundred and twelve what?" he asked, thinking he had misheard the man.

"Three-hundred and twelve bowls." the man replied.

Damn, he knew there was a catch.

"Do you need any help in the kitchen?" he asked.

* * *

><p>Hashirama sighed as he sifted through the papers that were on the desk, and it seemed it was as he suspected. He'd made a number of wood clones to sort through them since there were too many of them for one person to do alone, and what he and the wood clones found had pissed him off. Apparently, several departments throughout the village had been handing their paperwork to the Hokage rather than doing it themselves.<p>

From what he could see, the Census department had him doing at least half their work, so did the Agriculture department and Supply, and the Konoha Ninja Bank.

"What the hell is this?!" he yelled at the secretary who was bringing in a stack of paperwork that was nearly as tall as he was which was obviously being held together by Chakra.

"What is what sir?" the secretary asked.

"All of this!" he yelled, gesturing at the documents that covered his desk and part of the floor.

"I don't know sir, I'll have to ask the Undersecretary. I'm just the Paper Carrier." the secretary replied.

The secretary who was just a "Paper Carrier" then departed. A moment later, another secretary arrived.

"I'm so sorry Hokage-Sama." the secretary said. "We took to stealing paperwork from other departments in order to keep the Rokudaime occupied in an attempt at getting to cut back on his sealing experiments."

"Well then, remove everything that isn't my responsibility!" he snapped angrily.

The secretary who served under the Chief secretary whose job was apparently to deal with leaders across the continent snapped his fingers and several "Paper Movers" entered and started removing stacks of paper.

When they left, over half the paperwork was still left behind.


End file.
